


then i mess it up

by snakebitehearts



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, the blues are bad and i am sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 06:19:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16424036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snakebitehearts/pseuds/snakebitehearts
Summary: Sometimes it's lonely at the bottom too.(coda to the game on 10.25.18)





	then i mess it up

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: IF YOU ARE OR KNOW SOMEONE MENTIONED IN THIS STORY, PLEASE CLICK AWAY. This is a work of fiction. No slander or anything of the sort is meant by the author. Any true events in this story are public knowledge. The rest is 100% fiction and any truths are a coincidence.  
> title from so i shotgunned a beer and went back to bed by snowing.  
> unbeta'd. all mistakes are my own.

They’re almost eerily quiet.

The sound of their footsteps on the floor of Jaden’s condo is almost too loud. The door closing behind them certainly is.

Jaden winces.

They hadn’t spoken after the game, hadn’t spoken during the drive home. Jaden’s not used to the silence. Not like this.

He hates it.

“How long?” He asks, voice no louder than a whisper.

Robert falls onto the couch, head tipping back to look at Jaden.

“I’ll be reevaluated in two weeks,” He replies. He loosens his tie, breaking eye contact.

Robert’s words hang in the air around them.

“Fuck.”

Robert looks up, watches as Jaden falls back against the closed door. His eyes are closed. He almost looks content.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” Jaden says.

No shit, Robert thinks.

He doesn’t say that, though. The season has been rough enough already. He doesn’t need to add any more locker room drama to the mix.

Jaden pushes off the door, walking over to sit by Robert. He fits himself along Robert’s side, who wraps an arm around him. They don’t say anything for a while.

“Your goal was a beauty, babe,” Robert breaks the silence.

Jaden scrunches his nose, opening an eye to look up at Robert.

“Doesn’t really matter, does it? We still lost, Bortz,” He replies.

Robert doesn’t bother responding; instead, he leans down to plant a kiss on the tip of Jaden’s nose.

He rests his head on top of Jaden’s, for a moment, before heaving himself up off the couch.

“Come on. It’s bedtime.”

Jaden shoots him a look but doesn’t say anything. He just pushes himself up, turning for the bedroom. Robert follows.

They strip out of their suits methodically. The quiet still encompasses them, but it doesn’t feel as suffocating anymore.

Jaden hangs them up while Robert goes to find some sweatpants. It’s a good thing he started keeping clothes at Jaden’s. Their six-inch height difference does not go unnoticed.

They’re quiet as they busy themselves getting ready for bed. It’s different from their normal routine. Robert considers cracking a joke, hoping just for even the smallest of smiles.

They still haven’t spoken, even as they climb into bed. He stares at the giant Costco teddy bear in the corner of Jaden’s room.

He remembers the day they got them, his matching one at his own place. Remembers sneaking kisses as they brought them out to their cars. Remembers Jaden’s laugh, how he rolled his eyes and said: “You’re just a big kid” but was just as excited about them as Robert was. Those were happier days.

Robert feels awkward, unaware of what he should do.

Or he does, at least, until Jaden rolls over, planting his head on Robert’s chest. He tries not to sigh with relief as he wraps his arms around Jaden.

“I don’t know what to do, Bortz,” Jaden says after a few moments.

Robert can feel his face scrunch up into a frown. He looks down at Jaden, whose staring out the window.

“You’re doing everything you can, Jaden,” Robert replies, tightening his arms around Jaden’s waist without realizing.

“Well it’s clearly not fucking working, is it Robert?” Jaden snaps, but any fire he had is out immediately after.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to go off on you. I’m just…” Robert cuts him off before he can finish.

“I get it. We were supposed to be better,” Robert says.

But if he’s being honest? He doesn’t know what more Jaden can do.

He still plays with stars in his eyes, like someone might take the NHL away from him if he doesn’t show them how much he still wants it. Jaden’s still feisty, battling for pucks and taunting the other team like he’s seven feet tall. He’s still putting up points, even if his goal tonight was his first.

(Robert felt his heart surge from the press box. They aren’t out, not yet, but the team knows. There was no point in hiding the lovesick smile that spread across his face. Of course, that was before the game turned to shit.)

But he also knows the way Jaden thinks. Knows how he hunches his shoulders when sitting in his stall, trying too hard to keep the weight of the world on them. It’s pressure he doesn’t need.

It’s taken it’s toll on the team, too. Colton hasn’t had a real smile in days. Vladi pushes himself too hard over the littlest things. Jake’s worst of all, the bags under his eyes darker than normal, a miserable look always on his face.

And Robert’s broken, on top of it all. The season has been, for lack of a better word, a shitshow,

But Jaden? He’s gold. Robert would fight every goddamn man in the league if it’s what Jaden wanted. He wants to give Jaden the stars, make him his own constellations.

Robert wants to say this, all of it, but he doesn’t.

“You’re gold, babe,” He says instead, watches as Jaden squints up at him from Robert’s bare chest.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jaden’s asking and Robert’s heart hurts.

He opts to connect their lips instead.

The kiss is soft. There’s no heat behind it, more comfort than anything. Robert can feel bone-deep sadness. He doesn’t know who’s it is.

They break apart, eventually, Jaden half asleep before his head even lands back on Robert’s chest. He’s out like a light within a few seconds.

Robert takes a deep breath and follows suit.

**Author's Note:**

> for a, even if your team is doing better than mine.  
> come talk to me @sorrynotsaros on tumblr


End file.
